I know many of you would have seen these, either when they were first posted or when I have been cackling at them since when I re-found them locked inside the Internets forever. But I think they are important for a number of reasons:
- They show what a ridiculously overblown, pathetic, snivelling, jealousy-ridden greasy little youth I was. I was so desperately contrived.
- They serve to remind myself that I am not as awful as I used to be
- They can be horrendously funny.
Half the time I find it hard to actually work out what I meant. I used to cloud everything over in, what I thought, a mystical cloud, like I was some kind of enigma. However, most of the time I think I was too scared to really say what I meant in fear of reverberations.
My first entry (well I say my first, my first entry “on paper” as it were was blank owing to a technical hitch from a 13 year old Kirsty) was a veritable tour de force of ideas and emotions ( please note I have not corrected the spelling, grammar or the absurdness of my prose, so sorry):-
25rd April 2002
I have taken the decision to npt acctually tell anyone what my name on this is- Well my real name is Kirstylyn McComiskey but I mean I'm not telling anyone what my screen name is. Maybe whoever has read this has worked it out as I will give hints... Well to cut a long story short, Tim is in love with Becky, but I think i'm still in love with Tim. But all I want is Tim to be happy, and he is happy. I mean heavenly happy.. Dpon't get me wrong or anything ebut I do like Becky, shes a lovely girl and is good for Tim.. But..despite my feelings, I could never be with Tim again for a number of reasons:
1) He is totally and utterly in love with Becky
2) Hes my best friend and I dont want to loose my friendship with him
3) my parents would have a voyage to freakout city
4) I'm not entirely sure that I do love him or not. Well I do, but i dunno if the feeling will last for long.
Its jes a totally wacco idea thats all...bloody hell
Please take note of bullet point three and the closing sentence. What on earth possessed me to type with such gut-retching disgustingness? Ok, I was only 13 and granted I didn’t tYPe lEIk dIs but still! I am ashamed with myself. Oh and Kirsty no you most certainly didn’t love him as you were only 13. Take note for future. What’s all this about giving hints? Did I really do that? I exasperate myself sometimes I really do. A loosened friendship is the best kind of friendship.
Constantly I used words like “jes”, “thass”, “kewl”, “laff” like I was some kind of renegade Geordie. Embarrassingly I spelt come “cum” for a long time. I particularly hate the use of the word “sux” however I was far from the main offender. It was all “school suxs” and “chavs sux” and “homework sux” and “not being able to go to the disco because I am grounded because I spent all my lunch money on McFlurry sux”.
This one is particularly good:
In the I.T room again and I feel like I want to throw myself out of the window.Life totally sucks..unless you have a theory. And mines is that life is only as difficult as you decide to make it.So I guess why I weant to throw myself out the window. Today has been one of those days (ie- Missing the bus, having food tech, loss of bus pass, bad hair, gurls being shitty, rain etc etc). The only thing that cheered me up was an email from a friend of mine telling me that he was happy in his liife which I found rather cheering. What I dont find cheering is, however, that I aint seem Tim for quite a while (ok so it aint really his fault but I really cant be fecked to go to the library(I haven't the emotional temperment right now thanks). Chavs sux...sorry random cooment there. Ok how does a chav girl turn the light off after sex? She closes the car door.
There is nothing I can say to explain or excuse this. I can’t believe how awful I was at typing! The embarrassing thing is that I retold that joke the other day to Fiona I believe like I never tired of it Can I also point out that at the time a bit of rain and losing a bus pass was a MAJOR deal ok. Absolutely shocking.
I wrote a poem when I was 13. If I showed it to you I would die in shame.
See ya later “suxers”
