This can serve as a reference for my friends who I constantly berate for saying things in my presence which make me shout very loudly. Or, in fact, if I ever have to meet you. Or see you in the street. On TV. Anywhere.
Indeed
‘Indeed’ is not a suitable response to a statement. If there is a way to patronise someone there it is. Six letters, two syllables and ten tons of arrogance accompany this seemingly innocent reply. When I hear this said to me I burn down the offender's house and their family suffer at my hand.
Random, used in the wrong context or meaning
Having a party, inviting a load of people and then declaring that ‘a load of random people showed up’ is not a random event.
Going to the supermarket and buying dusters, mini eggs, copy of Horse and Hound and three bags of hamster food and coming home and declaring that ‘ I bought loads of random things at the shops!!!1!!111!’ is not random. Knowing that what you bought may be seen as slightly out of character enough to declare it removes the random element of the trip.
Please stop calling your photo albums on Facebook ‘random’ or ‘randoms’. They are people you know and everybody is aware you put the pictures on there for a reason because EVERYONE ELSE DOES IT TOO.
‘I’m well mad!’
Putting a ferrett in your bag/ dressing up as a duck/ bringing a trolley to a party/ wearing a traffic cone on your head etc etc does not make you mad. It makes you desperate.
‘I’m different!’
The generic black skulls t-shirts, trousers with chains on, boots with big buckles, piercings, Nirvana hoodies et al do not make you unique. I don’t see how you haven’t looked around and noticed that it’s all the same. Believe me, I was one of you once.
Also if you are Ruby Wax I suggest you keep very well out of my way.
15 February 2008
Response to http://www.geocities.com/canterburystuckists/jamesdunn (Read first).
This article is a definite attack at the author who, from experience, is an absolute arse.
James Alexander Xavier Dunn was born in London on July 14th, 1987 in an area of London he would rather not disclose as it is hugely embarrassing to him. He grew up in Birchington-on-Sea, Kent, and expressed an interest in art from an early age. After attending Chatham House Grammar School in Ramsgate (which frankly no-one would care in the slightest), he spent two years getting drunk and avoiding going to KIAD (now UCCA) in Canterbury. Pretending to be dissatisfied with the way the Fine Art course was run, when in fact he left because he was completely bone idle, thought he was better than everyone else and also after being told he would be booted out if he didn't start attending, he took the decision to quit the college in May 2007 (just after his girlfriend dumped him (me) because she was fed up with his attitude), and has since moved back to Birchington, where he has been attempting to sell paintings and living off what remains of his student loan as he couldn't possibly get a real job like everyone else and still expects his mother to pay for all his clothes.
James has been painting in-between being paraleticc and watching videos on Youtube for around two and a half years. Initially he favoured unstylized figurative art, but as he went through college his work developed and changed , adopting surrealism and occasionally cubism and expressionism. Frequently included as subjects in his art - which focuses largely on people (tits) and human behaviour (drunks) - are traditional figures such as dancers, musicians, and harlequins, among other curiosities. Some of James' work is drawn from life, while other examples are derived entirely from his imagination which is limited. During the summer of 2007, when he had been back in Birchington for about two months (another pointless fact), James began to incorporate abstract elements in his work, taking an experimental approach which is mainly drawing squiggly lines all over the background. He began painting shapes and patterns (squiggly lines) which weave through the people in his paintings and form part of the landscape of each picture he creates which basically but in a less arty farty way is ripping off Dali.. The end result is a composition that is devoid of perspective and looks out of shape as if their faces were melting. James has described the current style of his work as 'Balthus meets Picasso meets de Chirico meets Kandinsky'. Kirsty would describe his work as 'a load of bluey-greeny bollocks which will never change'.
His interests outside of art extend to pissing people off, shouting un-PC comments at strangers and writing in an intolerable third-person in attempt to make his uselessly underdeveloped life into something more than it actually is.
This article is a definite attack at the author who, from experience, is an absolute arse.
James Alexander Xavier Dunn was born in London on July 14th, 1987 in an area of London he would rather not disclose as it is hugely embarrassing to him. He grew up in Birchington-on-Sea, Kent, and expressed an interest in art from an early age. After attending Chatham House Grammar School in Ramsgate (which frankly no-one would care in the slightest), he spent two years getting drunk and avoiding going to KIAD (now UCCA) in Canterbury. Pretending to be dissatisfied with the way the Fine Art course was run, when in fact he left because he was completely bone idle, thought he was better than everyone else and also after being told he would be booted out if he didn't start attending, he took the decision to quit the college in May 2007 (just after his girlfriend dumped him (me) because she was fed up with his attitude), and has since moved back to Birchington, where he has been attempting to sell paintings and living off what remains of his student loan as he couldn't possibly get a real job like everyone else and still expects his mother to pay for all his clothes.
James has been painting in-between being paraleticc and watching videos on Youtube for around two and a half years. Initially he favoured unstylized figurative art, but as he went through college his work developed and changed , adopting surrealism and occasionally cubism and expressionism. Frequently included as subjects in his art - which focuses largely on people (tits) and human behaviour (drunks) - are traditional figures such as dancers, musicians, and harlequins, among other curiosities. Some of James' work is drawn from life, while other examples are derived entirely from his imagination which is limited. During the summer of 2007, when he had been back in Birchington for about two months (another pointless fact), James began to incorporate abstract elements in his work, taking an experimental approach which is mainly drawing squiggly lines all over the background. He began painting shapes and patterns (squiggly lines) which weave through the people in his paintings and form part of the landscape of each picture he creates which basically but in a less arty farty way is ripping off Dali.. The end result is a composition that is devoid of perspective and looks out of shape as if their faces were melting. James has described the current style of his work as 'Balthus meets Picasso meets de Chirico meets Kandinsky'. Kirsty would describe his work as 'a load of bluey-greeny bollocks which will never change'.
His interests outside of art extend to pissing people off, shouting un-PC comments at strangers and writing in an intolerable third-person in attempt to make his uselessly underdeveloped life into something more than it actually is.
09 February 2008
A response to http://inquirelive.co.uk/node/178 (read first)
This entry is not an attack to the author of the original article who has explained to me that he adopted a character when writing.
1) If you are a snotty aesthete try not to ruin my day with your whining. I happen to find a certain charm in concrete nightmares.
2) How about visiting and not buying said sandwich? What about visiting a run-down café? They will glad of the company and I am sure I can recommend some cracking ones to you. Regardless there is something rather romantic about an arcade with its paint peeling off, requests for you to come join the bingo so you can win a set of pots in a presentation ribbon and then on to the beach to get sand in all your belongings. As for the city what do you expect? Surely the mere definition of the word allows for some sense of misinterpretation of the excitement within.
One could say it’s only disappointing people who are disappointed. .
For the record these photos are not shopped they are staged. That is different. The blue sky usually does exist. Also, if I may butt in-which I will, there are literally THOUSANDS of free things to do in London. Seriously man I don’t know where you have been all your life.
3)Surely all the shops being owned by the same people is Capitalist? Perhaps I am confused. Yes I have seen everything before I have left but so what? And please, try not to plagiarise Bill Bailey. It’s not very becoming of you.
4) I would disagree with your stance here that museums are just a way to generate money. Alright, in some respects that is the case. But time and time again I have come across instances where museums have had to be closed down because of a lack of government funding and grants. Just because YOU might not want to see some old coins (frankly, it sounds like you don’t really like doing anything) doesn’t mean that you are the only one. History is cool, and don’t you forget it.
5) Avoid at all costs any article that has “miserablist” in the title, especially one that features “amateur journalists”. These are bitter individuals who failed to make the local newspaper, and who get their revenge by shamelessly flaunting their own faux-Clarkson-esque writings on an unsuspecting student body who just wanted to read a bit of news for once and not an article better suited for a personal blog.
This entry is not an attack to the author of the original article who has explained to me that he adopted a character when writing.
1) If you are a snotty aesthete try not to ruin my day with your whining. I happen to find a certain charm in concrete nightmares.
2) How about visiting and not buying said sandwich? What about visiting a run-down café? They will glad of the company and I am sure I can recommend some cracking ones to you. Regardless there is something rather romantic about an arcade with its paint peeling off, requests for you to come join the bingo so you can win a set of pots in a presentation ribbon and then on to the beach to get sand in all your belongings. As for the city what do you expect? Surely the mere definition of the word allows for some sense of misinterpretation of the excitement within.
One could say it’s only disappointing people who are disappointed. .
For the record these photos are not shopped they are staged. That is different. The blue sky usually does exist. Also, if I may butt in-which I will, there are literally THOUSANDS of free things to do in London. Seriously man I don’t know where you have been all your life.
3)Surely all the shops being owned by the same people is Capitalist? Perhaps I am confused. Yes I have seen everything before I have left but so what? And please, try not to plagiarise Bill Bailey. It’s not very becoming of you.
4) I would disagree with your stance here that museums are just a way to generate money. Alright, in some respects that is the case. But time and time again I have come across instances where museums have had to be closed down because of a lack of government funding and grants. Just because YOU might not want to see some old coins (frankly, it sounds like you don’t really like doing anything) doesn’t mean that you are the only one. History is cool, and don’t you forget it.
5) Avoid at all costs any article that has “miserablist” in the title, especially one that features “amateur journalists”. These are bitter individuals who failed to make the local newspaper, and who get their revenge by shamelessly flaunting their own faux-Clarkson-esque writings on an unsuspecting student body who just wanted to read a bit of news for once and not an article better suited for a personal blog.
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